Secret Feelings, Lost Tears
by Inque Monroe
Summary: Trowa visits Quatre and Quatre tells how he feels about Trowa, yaoi, sap


Secret Feelings, Lost Tears- By: Inque Monroe  
  
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing fan fics. believe me it sucks. I don't not own Gundam Wing or any of the respective characters yada yada yada.... even though it would rule to.  
  
Disclaimer: Yaoi, Sap, I mean extreme sap its so sucky and sappy its syrup.  
  
" " speaking : : thoughts * * actions  
  
----------------------------------------------------- Secret Feelings, Lost tears. By: Inque Monroe  
  
Quatre waited impatently at the dock. He hadn't seen Trowa for well over a year. Trowa was his best friend, but secretly Quatre thought of him as more than a friend but was sure he could never tell and just settled for friendship. when he saw Trowa get off the plane he ran and hugged him. He realized what he had done and immediately tried to pull away but then he felt Trowa arms surround him and hold him. Quatre relaxed and closed his eyes. :Why can't it be like this?: The embrace ended quickly.  
  
" How are you?" Asked Quatre. The silent pilot just gave a look that 'ment same as always'.  
  
Quatre smiled and just started talking as they walked towards the car. He looked up at Trowa looking for any changes that may have happened in the last year. Nothing, same beautiful Trowa with his magnifigant green eyes, deep brown hair still in the unibang style, the same slightly pale skin. :Perfect: thought Quatre.  
  
Trowa felt Quatre's gaze on him and turned to look. Their eyes met, but quickly separated. Neither could admit their true feeling especially Trowa. When he looked at Quatre again he noticed that Quatre was looking away slightly blushing. Trowa smiled. The Arabian angel's platinum blonde hair and blue eyes with that beautiful and kind face always made Trowa smile. : Why can't I: Thought Trowa.  
  
Both of them had gone through so much but it had always been together. The Gundam wars, the death even when Quatre lost himself Trowa saved him. yet for some reason they could not admit they loved each other both afraid the other would turn them away and never speak to them again. They had decided to just hide their emotions for the sake of being friends. But sadly they truly wanted to be together but could never admit it.  
  
When they got home poor Quatre started to try and find something to cook up for dinner but it only ended burnt.  
  
"Quatre!" *cough cough* "What are you trying to do? Kill us?! " Trowa gasped. Soon after (Quatre being locked from the kitchen) they sat to dinner, a non burnt one prepared by Trowa.  
  
Later the table was lined with several dishes. All quite good and quite hard to make. Quatre smiled at the sight.  
  
"I didn't know you could cook!" a delighted Quatre squealed.  
  
Trowa just shrugged " Neither did I."  
  
During dinner neither spoke. Every time someone started they just stopped and their mouth just kind of hung open for a while. Afterwards they headed for bed. Neither tired but both afraid something might spill out, this was going to be a hard two days.  
  
"Goodnight Trowa" Quatre said rather shaky. Trowa smiled then being so close to one and other they fell into an embrace that startled them both. Quickly pulling away Trowa went to his room and shut the door. : Trowa you baka why did you do that? Do you want to end your friendship with Quatre!: pissed at himself his undressed to his boxers and went to bed.  
  
Late that night Quatre laid in his room. He couldn't stand it. The person he loved was so close yet so far. Trowa would never forgive him for the feeling he had, he just knew. They were both male for crying out loud. He cried silent tears to himself his heart longing to be held by Trowa being told he was loved. :Never: That night he drempt he had told Trowa his feeling only to be laughed and spat at by Trowa. When he awoke the words echoed in his mind " you thought I could feel like that for a guy your damn nuts you damn gay sicko I never want to see you again. Hope you burn"  
  
The next morning Trowa came downstairs. He found a note that read:  
  
Trowa,  
  
I need to get out for some air. I'll be back tonight. There is some money in the top drawer go have fun. Sorry for this.  
  
Quatre.  
  
Trowa noticed that above the signature the word love had been scratched out. Trowa silently smiled to himself : Maybe he feels as I do after all:  
  
Quatre didn't return until late that night, quiet, not at all himself. It pained Trowa to see him like this. When asked what was wrong Quatre just said he didn't feel well and then left the room to go to bed.  
  
Later when Trowa was upstair he heard the back door shut. He got up and looked out the window to see Quatre outside. He went downstair and quietly slip outside as well. He foudn Quatre sitting under a tree his blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight.  
  
" Quatre?" a worried voice came from Trowa it even surprised himself. Quatre spun around his cheeks tear staind. " you ok?" asked a worried Trowa. Quatre tried to smile but the sight of Trowa was to much he immediatly cried. Trowa feel to one knee and put his hand on Quatre's shoulder " Tell me whats wrong. What ever it is you can tell me."  
  
Quatre took a deep breath and turned to face Trowa : I can't hide it: between sobs he said " I'm in love with someone, who I am most assurred doesn't love me back, and, and... it a male and I'm a male which makes me gay. I know if I tell him how I feel he will hate me forever but I can't hide anymore I hid it for over a year. I love him so much"  
  
Trowa was pained : I knew it, he loves someone else. not me: he still had to know " Who Quatre? Who is it?"  
  
Quatre looked into Trowa's eyes for any speck of love. " Its...Its.. it's you...Trowa..It you I love, i know, i know you don't love me and ....oh Trowa......I" Trowa pressed his lips against Quatre's holding him tight not wanting let go. Feeling his own tears and his own compressed feeling finally released.  
  
Quatre was shocked and felt a wave of relief he put his arms around Trowa deepening the kiss. They could feel each others love radiating from their bodies. nothing was felt except for the utmost love.  
  
when the kiss broke Trowa wiped the tears from Quatre's eyes loving " Quatre, I love you...with all my heart." Quatre smiled and threw himself against Trowa  
  
Quatre sighed "Trowa"  
  
They held each other for as long as they could. Now knowing they would never part. They finally were no longer alone they had each other and each's other's love. When Trowa awoke the next morning with Quatre beside him he smiled, knowing this was a new beginning. he turned over to awaken his love with a tender kiss. When the kiss broke Trowa smiled " I love, now and forever, please don't hide any of your feeling from me anymore, I love you angel." 


End file.
